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The 21st Birthday in the Age of COVID-19

[Written for UCSB's Journalism Writing course in May of 2020.]


When twin sisters Katey and Kayla Kelly began making plans for their 21st birthday, a parade was not one of their ideas.

But on the evening of April 28, they stood outside their family home in Sacramento for hours greeting car after car of friends and family who’d pulled up to drop off gifts and wish them a happy birthday. So many loved ones participated in the “drive-by birthday party,” organized secretly by Katey and Kayla’s mother, Tiffany, that the cars formed a line all the way down the street, sometimes reaching five cars long.

Six weeks prior, California had launched headfirst into COVID-19 lockdown, with Governor Newsom issuing a mandatory stay-at-home order. The Kelly girls were in the midst of deciding how they would celebrate their 21st – perhaps the most significant birthday for young people in the United States – when the world around them began changing rapidly and they were forced to abandon their initial planning.

The Kelly twins are representative of a group of young people who have been forced to forgo traditional ways of celebrating a 21st birthday. While this birthday is significant because it legally permits one to consume and purchase alcohol, it carries personal, social, and cultural significance, as well.

“This milestone is a signal...that one is truly an adult, relinquishing any lingering stereotypes of childhood,” said Paige Belcher, a college junior from Orange County who will turn 21 in June. However, COVID-19 has kept and will continue to keep many new 21-year-olds, like Belcher, from feeling the exhilaration of breaking through the last barrier of adolescence.

The transition of universities across the nation to online learning combined with stay-at- home orders has forced many young people to move back home indefinitely, creating a roadblock in their independence, the expression of which is the hallmark of their age.

“Being back at home makes me feel like I’m getting younger, not older,” says Brianna Karson, a college student living back at home in Los Angeles, where she turned 21 in April. “I feel like I’m back in high school.”

Living at home without the ability to go out or socialize, especially for an occasion such as a 21st birthday, creates a notable tension for this age group: these individuals are supposed to be out in the world experiencing the most freedom they’ve ever known, yet the exact opposite is happening. Frankly, young adults amid COVID-19 are living with little to no independence during the period of their lives when that new independence is most valued.

For many, the loss of a rite of passage as standardized in the timeline of an American adolescence as a 21st birthday has resulted in a significant emotional and social toll. These young people must grieve the loss of a meaningful life celebration, which, at its core, is rooted in making memories with close friends.


Karson is just one of the many young people who have experienced this: “I felt super lonely,” she said of her own 21st. “I felt robbed in a lot of ways.” Yet, many are making the most of the circumstances. Belcher, for instance, maintains a positive outlook on her 21st. “Although my plans are somewhat squashed by the shelter-in-place order, I will not allow them to ruin the day for me. Above all else I’ll still be able to be surrounded with the people who love me the most.”

Kayla Kelly echoed this sentiment. “I was so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude... It was incredible to see how many people came to celebrate in this unique way,” she said. “Now, looking back, I wouldn’t have changed my birthday experience for the world.”

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